Friday, October 24, 2014

Voice From The Grave

A few years ago I lost the best neighbor I ever had.
When I first moved into my new home my husband and I would marvel seeing this older woman fixing things on her roof next door through our kitchen window. We would be starring at her in amazement. She was 70 years old and fearless. She always wore these funny black boots, that had to be 20 years old. Her legs were so thin and the boots were loose around her legs. My husband said one day as we were watching her climb a ladder, "looks like boots on a chicken" and we both laughed and laughed. I laughed watching her thinking how brave and determined she was.
I ran out side one afternoon and yelled at her "Dotty, get off that roof before you fall and break your neck" and she yelled back, "No way, I've got to seal a leak up here". I said, "Hire a darn roofer"! She responded, "why, I can do what any roofer will do for free"!
  It was just who she was, if something had to be done, she was going to do it herself. I just fell in love with this sweet, funny old lady.
One afternoon while talking over the back yard fence with her  which we did frequently, she confided in me that she was glad to be able to do all she did around the house and yard because when she was younger she had a frightening brush with cancer, but she was in remission from it for many years now. 
Through the years she would amaze me as she wore her little boots in her garden and would drag her water hose around the yard watering her Azalea bushes. They were the most beautiful full vibrant Azaleas. She just always made me smile when I would see her. She had a great attitude and was so kind and thoughtful towards me.
Her yearly ritual of going up on the roof in her little black boots never stopped as the years wore on, and in her late 80's she never thought twice about heading up that ladder.  She really appreciated every day and all that it brought her way! 
 
It was in her late 80's that she shared with me that her cancer was back and she was feeling pretty bad. I missed seeing her out my kitchen window dragging her watering hose around and seeing her on the roof. I missed hearing her shout at me over the back yard fence.
Hospice came to her home one day and set up a bed in her living room and nurses were there everyday to attend to her.
I walked over to visit her and as I opened her front door, there near the closet were her boots.
I glanced over to the bed she was lying on and felt so sad as I knew her days were numbered, I could feel it. I walked over to hold her hand and chat a bit. She heard my voice and smiled. She said she was sorry she couldn't get her Azaleas watered. She only spoke a little. It was all so sad.
Two day's later she passed away.
 
A month had passed maybe two. I was in my bedroom, it was around 9:00 a.m. I was making the bed and I heard her familiar voice call to me from the living room. I missed her voice, I knew immediately it was her. I stopped what I was doing and listened again, YES, it was her, she had called my name twice now. I ran down the hall towards the living room, and I yelled "Dotty, Dotty where are you"?
 
It was just me in the room and the silence. But I knew she had come. She wanted to say goodbye. I just stood in the room and waited to hear her voice again. But I didn't. I wondered how it was possible to cross into this life again? How could this sweet woman call my name and then just be gone? I wondered if I had done something to end the connection, but what?
All I know is I was grateful to hear her happy voice one more time. So strong and full of life!
This life is so strange. Nothing is as it seems.
Albert Einstein once said:
"Energy is never lost, only transferred to another form of energy"
I know that is true and I am so grateful I got to experience it first hand.


2 comments:

  1. As I understand it only our loved ones come to visit, it could be a relative or dear friend. Its a true blessing to have visitations, it means that love echo's on high. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. Thank you for your comment Tina. I appreciate and respect your thinking. I agree with you as well. I only wish she would have said more!

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