Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Roach

Let me start by saying I do not like bugs!
So, it must have been the summer of 1990. I was home alone and getting ready to settle down for the night.
I had just taken a shower and was ready to turn the shower water off, when I noticed something moving near the faucet.
To my amazement it was a huge, did I say huge, brown cockroach!
This was the mother of all roaches, and believe me living in Florida, I had seen my fair share of those guys!
This one was at least 3 inches long and almost 2 inches wide.
I have no idea where it came from, it looked like it was from near the water spigot. I never see bugs in the house,  we spray often as do all Floridians.  I thought to myself, I've got to kill this thing so it doesn't grow bigger, move in, and have a million babies!
I jumped out of the shower and let out a scream! The Roach flew right at me. It landed in my hair! I was freaking out and jumping a jig like you could not believe. I heard the wings flapping near my ear....UGH! I was Screaming!! I had serious air under my feet!
I felt it in my wet hair on the right side and flicked it off of me.
It was so darn creepy! I just kept screaming!
This roach's wing span was so large I could hear it flying away from me. It was an eerie sound.
I ran into my bedroom and closed the door. I was trying to get my clothes on quickly so I could go after the darn bug. I could literally hear it flying in the hall near my bedroom door. I was completely in disbelief that a roach would be sitting in my hallway as if it were waiting for me! I thought to myself, O.K., this is weird. I feel as if this bug is taunting me. I quickly dressed and grabbed a shoe and opened the bedroom door in search of the monster roach only to find it on the wall in plain sight in the hallway. Exactly where I thought I heard him land! I ran at the roach flailing my shoe and missed the darn thing as he scurried off.
How did I miss a roach that big?
It then flew around and came at me again as I ran down the hall! This thing has nerve I thought!
I'm literally running from a roach!
I ran into the kitchen and I saw it coming right at me now. I was ducking and hitting at the air trying to nail this guy.
Again I was like, "You're kidding me" this bug seems to be seeking me out and attacking me! With that I thought O.K. I'm getting the big guns out! I went for the "RAID" spray under the kitchen sink! I felt sure I could get this guy now. The hair on my neck was standing straight up!
I was hoping it would work! Please GOD please!!!
I saw him running on the counter in the kitchen and sprayed towards him. Off he flew in to the living room. I went after him towards the living room and lost sight of him for as moment.
I had to find him. It's do or die at this point!
All of a sudden there he was in the air coming right at me again!
This is pure insanity!
I felt that this was more than a bug at this point.
NO BUG attacks you! They usually run and try to get away from you. At least most hide for heavens sake! Not this guy though. He was coming right at me over and over throughout this process!
I started to really get serious now.  I was so afraid of this bug! Enough is enough! I ran right at him again flailing my shoe all over the place and missing him by just a tad.
He then flew towards the den and I ran after him spraying as I went in his general direction. I was ingesting more Raid than he was...I could hear him flapping his wings and making a ruckus. I grabbed my shoe again and started to smack at him. He was running at break neck speed on the floor away from me now.
I wondered when is that RAID going to kick in?
Come on!
He seemed unaffected by it thus far. Again he flew up and almost landed on me, no kidding. I could hear him flying all around me in the room as I turned every which way to get the buggar!
I finally caught sight of him and sprayed him again. This time he fell to the ground and I wacked him with my shoe! Finally he was dead. Finally a victory! The hair on the back of my neck could now settle down a bit!
It took me all of ten minutes running through the house to capture this bug! He was no ordinary bug that's for sure!
My floors were soaked with Raid!
I had never had an experience like that and have never had one since then. Thank GOD!
Florida is a roach haven with all the Palm trees and tropical foliage, but seriously this was a strange sequence of events here.
I will never forget that day and what I went through.
It was my will against the will of the cockroach.
Once is enough for me for a lifetime!
And I thought only ghosts and demons chased me!
I'm now wondering if demons can inhabit roaches?
Life is certainly strange this side of the veil.