So, it was 1959. I lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My Mom had packed us 4 kids into the car for a quick trip to Florida. We all thought that was wonderful! We were traveling at night and in the hot summer months of the year. Our car did not have air conditioning back in those days. It was uncomfortable, but the windows were open and we were heading to Florida!
My parents were getting a divorce and my Mom decided to visit her parents in Miami so she could work a few things out for the future.
I didn't really understand what the divorce thing was all about. I was just too young.
We had travelled all evening and it was time for Mom to take a rest from all the driving. It was still dark as I heard the tires pull onto a crunchy, rocky road. I remember being the only one awake, I looked around the car seats, I didn't want to get up yet, so I kept my eyes closed, the engine of the car was still running. I was still very tired and it had cooled down a lot through the night I thought. So I stayed snuggled together with my sleeping siblings. We were in an older car, with a big back seat. All my siblings were sound asleep. Unaware of what was transpiring.
After being parked for a while, I heard my Mom start crying. It was soft but desperate. I was so small I could not see over the big front seat to where she was in the drivers seat. She sat looking straight ahead. I could see her profile from where I was in the back.
I tried to get up but thought maybe I should stay quite. It wasn't often I heard my Mom crying. It was a bit weird for me. I sat up a bit and peeked out the window but did not speak a word. The window was open and I could see a huge empty unpaved area that we were parked on. It was all white, like sand or shells or something I thought. I had no idea where we were. It wasn't a home or a restaurant.
I looked over at my mother, still not speaking and looking straight ahead. She hadn't noticed through her crying that I was awake and looking about. Her hands were firmly on the wheel as she cried softly. As the night darkness was leaving somewhat and the morning was now arriving I could almost see clearer out the window, but it was still dark.
It appeared we were on a huge piece of property that was over looking a cliff. A huge deep cliff!
The car still running, I heard my Mom start to roll the car slowly closer towards the edge of the cliff. Then all of a sudden she stopped, as if she was reconsidering something! She did this a few times. I sat wondering what was happening here?
She started again....
My eyes widened as she did this as I thought to myself, we are rolling pretty fast here, doesn't she see the cliff there in front of her? She still did not acknowledge me being awake.
I was now fully sitting up in the back seat.
Her hands were firmly gripping the steering wheel as she continued to cry her muffled crying. She stopped the car again! She seemed to be arguing with herself. Shaking her head. Again we started rolling closer to the edge of the cliff. We were pretty close at this point, I could see the depth of the cliff now from the other side of the deep hole, it was getting a bit brighter outside. It seemed as if this was taking a very long time.
I was now wide awake, and fearful!
All of a sudden I spoke, and to this day I can't completely explain what I said to her. I said in a very wimpy pleading voice "Mommy, stop the car, don't do this, PLEASE Mommy, don't do this to us"!
I absolutely shocked her! She did not know I was awake and watching her. She slammed on the brakes and turned towards me. She said to me, "do what"? "What am I doing"?
Then she broke into heavy crying. Now the light was getting brighter outside. It seemed to me we were on some work sight she had pulled into to rest up. My older sister woke up a bit moving around in her seat in the front, completely unaware of what was going on.
My Mom turned the car wheel away from the cliff immediately and drove quickly away from the edge. She spoke not a word.
As I look back now I'm sure it was because if my older sister would have seen where we were at that cliffs edge she would have been screaming at the top of her lungs in fear!
That morning once back on the road again with my sister back to sleep, my Mom said to me,
"we won't ever talk about this to anyone".
I said, "O.K. Mom".
I stayed awake the rest of the trip to Hialeah, Florida to her parents home and so did my Mom. I remember being afraid to fall asleep actually since she was so upset. What I thought was odd though, was that the next morning she pulled into a Graveyard under the shade trees for us all to get out of the car, stretch our legs and have a bite to eat from the picnic basket she had in the trunk, and I'm sure to also rest her weary eyes.
I will never forget this experience. My siblings all thought this was weird how we stopped at the graveyard. We still talk about it from time to time when we all gather.
We laugh about that crazy time Mom stopped at a graveyard to rest and have lunch.
I now think she pulled into that grave yard because she was very grateful we all were alive and she had been thwarted in her plan to end all of our lives because of the pain she was suffering going through that divorce.
I have never spoken of this to anyone since it happened in 1959. I don't know why. For many years I forgot about it. I tried to bring it up to my Mother one time in the 80's while we were both alone chatting in her home in North Carolina. She said she had no idea what I was talking about? So I left it at that. I guess she was never going to admit that this had happened. I'm sure the pain was way to deep in her soul. I can't imagine how she must have felt! After all, she was at least 6 months pregnant at the time with my little sister.
I often would think of this day and be so grateful I was awakened that night!
Sometimes even as children we are led to intervene in the course of the future for our lives and others. I am grateful our lives did not end that way, that night! We were all protected by the only one who has our last breath in HIS hands! At HIS timing.
Not anyone else's.
Thank GOD!
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