So, know matter how I try to forget or deny these remembrance experiences, they are still so strong and ingrained within me, they are clear and fervent in my life. They are so clear from my beginning here as a child and I share them with you to remind you also of your beginning. Try to remember.....
Perhaps you can.
We are all walking each other HOME, but we need to remember, this is NOT our Home here on Earth, if you are called by GOD!
I was an infant when I had my second recollection of being here. I was in a buggy being pushed down the street by my mother. I was aware there were sounds of cars and older children, it was like seeing it as an adult. I saw the trees and the houses. But my focus was mainly on the buggy I was in. I to this day remember the odd smell of it. The plastic and the blankets, the spilled milk, the dark material all over it, covering it. The smell of the cigarettes, and the bed head odors from others. I was inquisitive and drinking it all in. It was uncomfortable. I remember not liking it all.
Then my focus was broken by a woman who bent down to attend me somehow. She was young with beautiful green eyes. Auburn brown hair and bad teeth. I noticed the teeth on everyone I saw. I was aware I had none! They were frightening. I distinctively remember her bad breath. Or older faces with horrifying make up on them. It was frightening. It was so unnatural. There was no where for me to go to be away from cigarettes and sights and sounds. The cigarettes odor filled the entire buggy! It made me very uncomfortable, I would kick and squirm trying to get away from it but I had no power to change what I was experiencing. My mind was keen but my body was not yet in charge of my movements. The lady smiled and handled me to move me and cover me. I drank it all in. I understood explicitly what was happening but I could not communicate it to her. I so wanted to make changes in my condition. I clearly remember the warmth in my diapers. I knew what caused it but this is how it was here. Odors were of special interest to me. I had issues with these odors. I would grow to smell everything before I ate it and I was always looking for what I previously knew but it wasn't here, anywhere.
I also made sure as I grew up I would look for ways to get away from uncomfortable odors, and faces.
Why was I here, I remember thinking. Then I would hear the voice. HE would assure me, I accepted HIS assurance whole heartedly and went on. But why? Where is here? It was cool and beautiful as well as frightening all in the same thought. Everything was so different! The voice did not always answer all my questions. And there were many. It's as if I were here to experience the journey and then make decisions on my own about how I would interact with them. I remember not wanting to do this really.
I later came to find that this woman who attended me was my Mother. She smoked almost constantly and this is why her breath was so horrible on top of the fact her teeth were so rotten.
I saw the source of odors. I still do to this day. My sense of smell
has always been above normal.
I knew this somehow. I didn't like it then and I still do not!
I had advanced thoughts and reason but was just a small frail child, unable to communicate my thinking. It was frustrating and made me uncomfortable constantly to be out of control of my circumstances.
I remembered that I knew it would be this way, but could not remember why I knew that!
For the rest of my life/experience I was learning the ways of the people I was associated with.
It all seemed so odd. Things didn't seem to go as I knew they should. I felt very different, yet more and more I was fitting in.
When I felt I was fitting in I would slip past many months until the awareness would come back to me that I didn't want to be here, I had made a commitment though and I knew it somehow. What was really happening here? I would go in and out of understanding as I grew older.
I remember my Father figure and he was often unconcerned with me. He also was a smoker, the smell was on him. Seemed busy but would take a few moments to acknowledge me from time to time. I have no endearing thoughts from childhood of him. But I knew he was there. There was also another "child", an older one. She was delightful and kind. I would watch her interact and I would copy or follow her ways and align with her as if she were a teacher. She was my older sister.
Years went by and there was a boy, a brother, he was very special.
I could now communicate with them all well and had opinions about what I was seeing. I voiced them all as best I could.
I remember wanting to experience everything, as if I knew there was a specific reason to be here. But, what was everything?
I clearly remember standing at the front glass, screen door window with my little brother, I was about three years old and he was two now. I said to him as we both gazed out the front door glass window, lower level, "Oh look at that beautiful little girl coming towards us", his reply shocked me, he said, "she's not pretty", I argued, "her long hair is so pretty", he retorted, "I don't like it". It was right then and there I knew for certain we did not all think alike or see things the same. I wonder to this day if we were communicating via telepathy or actually speaking to one another out loud? My sister and I agreed on many things but there was a difference between us all. I knew my brother was a male some how, He was not the same as the sister and I. Now however, I was certain, our thinking was separate and individual. This was a mile stone in my life. I remember it like it was last night. Men and woman did not see things in the same way.
I began testing my little brother. I would ask him to bite his finger nails because they tasted so good, and he would not accommodate me. He said that was silly, but I found an enjoyment biting mine and I liked the smell of my fingers. Then I would question him in other ways as if I were trying to assess the different thinking to make sense to me.
I also clearly remember after having had to listen to loud traumatic fights between my parents and dealing with odd feelings and emotions, experiencing more siblings and having tasted Ice cream and different foods and many other remembered experiences, even playing with the sweet puppy and seeing all the differences between human and animals, the colors of the sky and the world around me.
So, I called upon the voice I would speak with from time to time, and asked HIM to let me come home now as I was ready to leave.
I remember clearly telling the voice, "I have experienced everything here now, and I understand why I came. So, "NOW" I am ready to leave". I was very firm in my telling HIM how I felt. I believed I had an option at the time to request to come Home! I will never forget how "The Voice" spoke to me in a warm, loving, supportive way that day as HE answered me. Oh how I yearned to hear HIM speak to me! But, HIS reply was "there was much to learn yet". I replied to HIM, what more could there possibly be? I have seen the trees and the people and the communities the animals and the ways of this world. HE loving asked me to continue. I never did disagree with HIM. To this day, I still follow HIS lead. I didn't want to stay. I wanted to go home with HIM then, but this was not a current option. I was only around five years old when I asked HIM if I could come home.
I laugh now as I understand HIS answer to me, I am in my 60's.
I thought at five I had experienced enough here!
There is a reason why we must all come to understand, it isn't about just this life. There is so much more to know, but we can hardly handle what we have all already been given here! So the journey goes on, so we can come to know and understand HIS will for us here.
I know this all sounds strange to the reader at first, but I'm certain I am not the only one with these profound memories from the early arrival days. I have come to know that we all go through the transitions here in the land of the living exactly the same way as I did. Some of us remember it well and others of us never remember the process of arriving at all while adjusting to the new situation we find ourselves in, called LIFE. We all have different situations. Some of us hear the voice of GOD early on as HE leads us through the journey, others of us do not and perhaps will not. I have always wondered if it is because early on in the initial experience they felt as I did and wanted to leave, maybe even sooner, but HE kept us here for experience and training. Some may have gotten angry and aggressive towards HIM? They lost their way from a young experience of anger.
I have always known I was to help, teach and support while here.
I have come across some who are also awake and aware.
But they are few. It's a big picture to see, Life as we know it.
I have also always known we are spiritual beings transitioning into the world of the flesh and human experience.
This is the Land of the Living.
I even remember my first horrifying experience. I was trying to hold my head up as a newborn. I remember the pain involved, I focused on one issue in the transition process at a time. Holding my head up took constant work as there were no muscles tight enough to remain in control. My head would fall to right and left and back and forward as I would concentrate on the muscle group in my neck to take control. I remember the workout process and was unhappy with it. I also knew instinctively I had to follow through. I would go through times where I would loose remembrance, and find myself slipping into routine with my siblings and parents
They never seemed to see what I was experiencing. They were unaware of who they were. I felt unheard and misunderstood.
So I would face challenge after challenge and try to commune with the voice I was always aware of throughout the entire process of ageing.
We are never alone here and we are all here together, until our time has been fulfilled. I pray you can relate and understand. This is my journey remembered.
Feel free to share your journey with me.
We truly are all walking each other HOME!
